










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 537 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Esplay | 3 matches | 2,001 |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
722 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,136 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1463 | 35% |
| Smokes | 963 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 898 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 812 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $195,529 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 80 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AkseliOnCrack | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Pelottava Poistaja | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | Vekec | 50% | 46 |
| #4 | Jake- | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | noza | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AkseliOnCrack | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Pelottava Poistaja | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | Vekec | 50% | 46 |
| #4 | Jake- | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | noza | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vekec | 6 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | Jake- | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vekec | 172 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #2 | Jake- | 56 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #3 | Pelottava Poistaja | 11 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #4 | AkseliOnCrack | 10 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #5 | noza | 8 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AkseliOnCrack | +7.49 | 84 | 64 |
| #2 | Pelottava Poistaja | +2.17 | 79 | 33 |
| #3 | P Y R Y´ | +1.47 | 66 | 72 |
| #4 | Jake- | -1.04 | 66 | 56 |
| #5 | noza | -1.43 | 27 | 66 |





