








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2382 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,692 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1032 | 28% |
| Smokes | 878 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1220 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 562 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $521,055 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gelvish imp lord of darkness | 47% | 17 |
| #2 | Coronary Orgasm | 47% | 17 |
| #3 | yalenzz | 46% | 56 |
| #4 | Ampers& | 44% | 18 |
| #5 | Headcrab with da Jorts | 39% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ampers& | +3.82 | 77 | 50 |
| #2 | yalenzz | +3.20 | 71 | 77 |
| #3 | Arcueid | +0.84 | 76 | 47 |
| #4 | Gelvish imp lord of darkness | +0.46 | 65 | 64 |
| #5 | Headcrab with da Jorts | -0.24 | 49 | 58 |





