










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
795 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,212 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 267 | 12% |
| Smokes | 409 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 914 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 622 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $282,501 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j.burr | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | dodgerbluee | 43% | 151 |
| #3 | Shake_me | 43% | 49 |
| #4 | IamCumby | 41% | 41 |
| #5 | mkfuertes | 35% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j.burr | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | dodgerbluee | 43% | 151 |
| #3 | Shake_me | 43% | 49 |
| #4 | IamCumby | 41% | 41 |
| #5 | mkfuertes | 35% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dodgerbluee | 12 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Shake_me | 5 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | mkfuertes | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | j.burr | 2 | 0.0095 |
| #5 | IamCumby | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dodgerbluee | 304 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | IamCumby | 115 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | mkfuertes | 89 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Shake_me | 59 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | j.burr | 34 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j.burr | +10.24 | 83 | 66 |
| #2 | Shake_me | +6.22 | 68 | 56 |
| #3 | dodgerbluee | +2.67 | 56 | 55 |
| #4 | IamCumby | +1.41 | 55 | 53 |
| #5 | refreshedwizard | -3.48 | 31 | 21 |





