








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 28 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2550 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,481 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1823 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2563 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1672 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1423 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $760,316 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 360 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shake_me | 55% | 71 |
| #2 | IamCumby | 49% | 67 |
| #3 | refreshedwizard | 43% | 151 |
| #4 | mkfuertes | 41% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shake_me | 55% | 71 |
| #2 | IamCumby | 49% | 67 |
| #3 | refreshedwizard | 43% | 151 |
| #4 | mkfuertes | 41% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | refreshedwizard | 8 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Shake_me | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | IamCumby | 5 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | mkfuertes | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IamCumby | 196 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | mkfuertes | 109 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | refreshedwizard | 108 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | Shake_me | 89 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shake_me | +6.17 | 66 | 57 |
| #2 | dodgerbluee | +2.58 | 56 | 53 |
| #3 | IamCumby | +0.09 | 55 | 53 |
| #4 | refreshedwizard | -3.89 | 31 | 23 |
| #5 | mkfuertes | -6.25 | 10 | 26 |





