








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 217 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 148 matches | ||
| Wingman | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3093 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,814 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 380 | 7% |
| Smokes | 911 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 2320 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 2203 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,239,454 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | saitama | 67% | 70 |
| #2 | 𝔅𝔏𝔘𝔐𝔄 | 55% | 93 |
| #3 | HaxScrpt | 52% | 29 |
| #4 | AliLuna | 51% | 39 |
| #5 | •ᴮᴬᴰʙᴏʏツ | 49% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | 𝔅𝔏𝔘𝔐𝔄 | 55% | 93 |
| #3 | HaxScrpt | 52% | 29 |
| #4 | AliLuna | 51% | 39 |
| #5 | •ᴮᴬᴰʙᴏʏツ | 49% | 101 |
| #6 | Yashi | 44% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | saitama | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | •ᴮᴬᴰʙᴏʏツ | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | 𝔅𝔏𝔘𝔐𝔄 | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Yashi | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | HaxScrpt | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | •ᴮᴬᴰʙᴏʏツ | 202 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | 𝔅𝔏𝔘𝔐𝔄 | 140 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | AliLuna | 103 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | saitama | 58 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | HaxScrpt | 26 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🔪No¤Scope™🔪 | +2.65 | 87 | 38 |
| #2 | saitama | +2.37 | 88 | 49 |
| #3 | HaxScrpt | +2.08 | 80 | 70 |
| #4 | •ᴮᴬᴰʙᴏʏツ | +1.74 | 92 | 53 |
| #5 | Yashi | -1.12 | 84 | 49 |





