








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 656 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 615 matches | ||
| Wingman | 62 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 99 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5943 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,315 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7465 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5818 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 6982 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 7050 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,548,006 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 343 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keks02 | 56% | 96 |
| #2 | •ᴮᴬᴰʙᴏʏツ | 53% | 79 |
| #3 | 🔪No¤Scope™🔪 | 51% | 39 |
| #4 | 1kvn666 | 51% | 47 |
| #5 | narrad opa | 49% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | 1kvn666 | 51% | 47 |
| #5 | narrad opa | 49% | 49 |
| #6 | number one | 48% | 71 |
| #7 | CarryPotter | 48% | 151 |
| #8 | DorSNAN | 48% | 437 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DorSNAN | 33 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | CarryPotter | 13 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Keks02 | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | narrad opa | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | •ᴮᴬᴰʙᴏʏツ | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DorSNAN | 1448 | 0.16 | 38 min |
| #2 | CarryPotter | 265 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | •ᴮᴬᴰʙᴏʏツ | 192 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | Keks02 | 181 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | number one | 113 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | •ᴮᴬᴰʙᴏʏツ | +4.55 | 95 | 55 |
| #2 | number one | +3.93 | 73 | 56 |
| #3 | narrad opa | +3.59 | 66 | 54 |
| #4 | 1kvn666 | +2.52 | 69 | 41 |
| #5 | 🔪No¤Scope™🔪 | +2.04 | 89 | 36 |





