








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 72 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Overpass | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
454 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,020 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 162 | 16% |
| Smokes | 513 | 50% |
| HE Grenades | 70 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 275 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $561,705 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RuneFickHansen | 39% | 31 |
| #2 | TeenageRawr | 37% | 59 |
| #3 | Villund | 34% | 71 |
| #4 | Santa-Xcaze | 33% | 129 |
| #5 | Mad Dad | 31% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | TeenageRawr | 37% | 59 |
| #3 | Villund | 34% | 71 |
| #4 | Santa-Xcaze | 33% | 129 |
| #5 | Mad Dad | 31% | 83 |
| #6 | Toeffe | 31% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Santa-Xcaze | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Mad Dad | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Toeffe | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Villund | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toeffe | 92 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #2 | Santa-Xcaze | 89 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #3 | Villund | 85 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | TeenageRawr | 37 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Mad Dad | 11 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TeenageRawr | +9.35 | 88 | 49 |
| #2 | Villund | +1.45 | 54 | 49 |
| #3 | Santa-Xcaze | +1.32 | 62 | 42 |
| #4 | Toeffe | -2.78 | 41 | 40 |
| #5 | Mad Dad | -2.93 | 21 | 27 |





