








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 46 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
251 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 332 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 37 | 11% |
| Smokes | 207 | 62% |
| HE Grenades | 39 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 49 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $241,768 of utility $296 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TeenageRawr | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | Mad Dad | 50% | 22 |
| #3 | Toeffe | 44% | 34 |
| #4 | Santa-Xcaze | 44% | 39 |
| #5 | Villund | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Mad Dad | 50% | 22 |
| #3 | Toeffe | 44% | 34 |
| #4 | Santa-Xcaze | 44% | 39 |
| #5 | Villund | 42% | 24 |
| #6 | Amager_er_nr_1 | 39% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Santa-Xcaze | 4 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | Amager_er_nr_1 | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Mad Dad | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Villund | 34 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #2 | Toeffe | 28 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | Santa-Xcaze | 25 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | Amager_er_nr_1 | 24 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | TeenageRawr | 13 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TeenageRawr | +8.50 | 87 | 50 |
| #2 | Santa-Xcaze | +2.97 | 68 | 50 |
| #3 | Villund | +2.31 | 54 | 54 |
| #4 | Toeffe | -1.75 | 37 | 50 |
| #5 | Mad Dad | -2.27 | 18 | 30 |





