








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 639 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




62 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4332 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,198 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2755 | 44% |
| Smokes | 1669 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1158 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 616 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,452,802 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1061 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ouija | 75% | 28 |
| #2 | Friendly Tinder Profile | 71% | 24 |
| #3 | Barbados Slim | 53% | 30 |
| #4 | Spieg | 53% | 51 |
| #5 | tomala21 | 49% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ThisAcidIsFakkkkk | 46% | 24 |
| #8 | Perc 30 | 43% | 79 |
| #9 | тяιχѕρσят © | 40% | 62 |
| #10 | Walter White pp | 40% | 35 |
| #11 | ohwatermelon | 24% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Walter White pp | 30 | 0.0455 |
| #2 | Perc 30 | 22 | 0.0144 |
| #3 | Zug | 21 | 0.0152 |
| #4 | тяιχѕρσят © | 17 | 0.0139 |
| #5 | Ouija | 8 | 0.0149 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spieg | 212 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #2 | тяιχѕρσят © | 144 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | Perc 30 | 138 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Ouija | 133 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #5 | Barbados Slim | 81 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ouija | +6.55 | 61 | 76 |
| #2 | Friendly Tinder Profile | +3.47 | 70 | 63 |
| #3 | Zug | +0.72 | 51 | 18 |
| #4 | Twchrespect | +0.63 | 69 | 46 |
| #5 | Walter White pp | +0.51 | 46 | 3 |





