








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
216 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 808 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 104 | 13% |
| Smokes | 157 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 272 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 275 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $219,312 of utility $225 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | fitzij | 38% | 24 |
| #7 | H3wro | 33% | 3 |
| #8 | melb_ | 33% | 3 |
| #9 | Torland | 0% | 4 |
| #10 | Bømlingen | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Søt Mus | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | bernarnold | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | fitzij | 2 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Raptor Kølle | 316 | 0.34 | 9 min |
| #2 | bernarnold | 91 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | Søt Mus | 87 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Customer Service | 54 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | fitzij | 29 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Søt Mus | +4.39 | 79 | 43 |
| #2 | melb_ | +2.40 | 85 | 54 |
| #3 | fitzij | +2.15 | 73 | 51 |
| #4 | Raptor Kølle | +1.02 | 73 | 79 |
| #5 | bernarnold | +0.40 | 69 | 61 |





