








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 163 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2374 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,617 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1124 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1341 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 894 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1258 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $784,289 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 63 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yds | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | Pl1m | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | bernarnold | 58% | 62 |
| #4 | Customer Service | 58% | 26 |
| #5 | SillyCircle | 57% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fitzij | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Raptor Kølle | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | bernarnold | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Pl1m | 2 | 0.0078 |
| #5 | Yds | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pl1m | +4.74 | 72 | 54 |
| #2 | Søt Mus | +4.05 | 77 | 54 |
| #3 | H3wro | +1.26 | 76 | 58 |
| #4 | fitzij | +1.04 | 65 | 53 |
| #5 | Yds | +0.32 | 58 | 71 |





