








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 51 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 183 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1290 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,060 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1418 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1799 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2007 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 836 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,073,812 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 140 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SneeX | 53% | 19 |
| #2 | Karl | 51% | 41 |
| #3 | Klatschcop | 48% | 25 |
| #4 | Calliou | 46% | 28 |
| #5 | BierPatrioT | 43% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Klatschcop | 5 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | Rainer_Zufall | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | StevenPS4 | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Konrad Adenauer | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Karl | 3 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StevenPS4 | 189 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | [MND] Actually_julian | 76 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #3 | BierPatrioT | 68 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Rainer_Zufall | 66 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Cartman | 56 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Klatschcop | +5.53 | 89 | 53 |
| #2 | Calliou | +4.98 | 63 | 52 |
| #3 | Frodi | +2.76 | 39 | 48 |
| #4 | [MND] Actually_julian | +0.09 | 66 | 46 |
| #5 | Konrad Adenauer | -0.13 | 26 | 47 |





