








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 526 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 277 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2038 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,643 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 372 | 14% |
| Smokes | 278 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 654 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1339 | 51% |
Our logs show you have wasted $426,796 of utility $49 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 103 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Double_Cheesburger | 51% | 41 |
| #2 | BierPatrioT | 48% | 50 |
| #3 | Klatschcop | 48% | 46 |
| #4 | SneeX | 43% | 76 |
| #5 | Rainer_Zufall | 43% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StevenPS4 | 12 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | SneeX | 8 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | riser92 | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Rainer_Zufall | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Klatschcop | 4 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StevenPS4 | 289 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | Frodi | 100 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Rainer_Zufall | 99 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | SneeX | 94 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | BierPatrioT | 73 | 0.07 | 2 min |





