








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 48 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
356 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 775 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 98 | 13% |
| Smokes | 223 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 247 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 207 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $84,191 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | underwasserman | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | tomcalova.teri | 52% | 31 |
| #3 | <(<3)3 | 52% | 33 |
| #4 | Aaron_HD | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | toM4to | 50% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | underwasserman | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | tomcalova.teri | 52% | 31 |
| #3 | <(<3)3 | 52% | 33 |
| #4 | Aaron_HD | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | toM4to | 50% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | <(<3)3 | 9 | 0.0129 |
| #2 | toM4to | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | tomcalova.teri | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tomcalova.teri | 64 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #2 | toM4to | 39 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #3 | underwasserman | 21 | 0.23 | 0 min |
| #4 | <(<3)3 | 3 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aaron_HD | +7.62 | 81 | 21 |
| #2 | toM4to | +2.54 | 59 | 26 |
| #3 | <(<3)3 | +1.52 | 67 | 11 |
| #4 | underwasserman | +0.04 | 47 | 51 |
| #5 | tomcalova.teri | -1.69 | 49 | 33 |





