








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 18 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 145 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1151 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,440 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 844 | 35% |
| Smokes | 664 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 486 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 446 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $139,805 of utility $25 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MakeAmericaSadAgain | 58% | 26 |
| #2 | toM4to | 52% | 105 |
| #3 | Virginius | 52% | 31 |
| #4 | Aaron_HD | 48% | 65 |
| #5 | <(<3)3 | 47% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Aaron_HD | 48% | 65 |
| #5 | <(<3)3 | 47% | 104 |
| #6 | s0lo | 44% | 59 |
| #7 | Icsy | 42% | 38 |
| #8 | User072 | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | <(<3)3 | 16 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | Aaron_HD | 11 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | Icsy | 7 | 0.0103 |
| #4 | toM4to | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | s0lo | 4 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Icsy | 127 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #2 | s0lo | 109 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | toM4to | 87 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | MakeAmericaSadAgain | 43 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Virginius | 15 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aaron_HD | +6.15 | 73 | 24 |
| #2 | toM4to | +1.89 | 65 | 35 |
| #3 | Icsy | +1.52 | 78 | 55 |
| #4 | <(<3)3 | +1.31 | 75 | 12 |
| #5 | s0lo | +0.77 | 81 | 47 |





