








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1358 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,730 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2578 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2743 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2079 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2330 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $327,493 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SwordsandSandals | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | elkku | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | jiihoo | 51% | 130 |
| #4 | GaryRandyX | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | Pogen | 50% | 155 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Pogen | 50% | 155 |
| #6 | jarchie | 48% | 48 |
| #7 | Elmerii_ | 43% | 30 |
| #8 | Ikelae | 40% | 10 |
| #9 | Gallet | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pogen | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | jiihoo | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | jarchie | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | GaryRandyX | 2 | 0.0077 |
| #5 | SwordsandSandals | 2 | 0.0080 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pogen | 641 | 0.19 | 20 min |
| #2 | jiihoo | 224 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | jarchie | 100 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | GaryRandyX | 49 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | Elmerii_ | 48 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GaryRandyX | +4.49 | 48 | 83 |
| #2 | Pogen | +1.75 | 52 | 83 |
| #3 | elkku | +0.93 | 96 | 27 |
| #4 | Gallet | -0.04 | 83 | 69 |
| #5 | juhnu | -0.34 | 48 | 77 |





