








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 131 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 316 matches | ||
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3383 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,091 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4308 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3883 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3758 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3142 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,415,542 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 101 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RaSSe | 65% | 26 |
| #2 | SwordsandSandals | 54% | 37 |
| #3 | jarchie | 52% | 42 |
| #4 | Pogen | 52% | 356 |
| #5 | juhnu | 51% | 130 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | SwordsandSandals | 54% | 37 |
| #3 | jarchie | 52% | 42 |
| #4 | Pogen | 52% | 356 |
| #5 | juhnu | 51% | 130 |
| #6 | Elmerii_ | 47% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pogen | 11 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | SwordsandSandals | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | jarchie | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Elmerii_ | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pogen | 1413 | 0.18 | 43 min |
| #2 | juhnu | 392 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #3 | SwordsandSandals | 131 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | jarchie | 85 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Elmerii_ | 69 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pogen | +1.58 | 46 | 80 |
| #2 | jiihoo | -0.24 | 78 | 65 |
| #3 | juhnu | -0.51 | 48 | 77 |
| #4 | jarchie | -1.16 | 57 | 66 |
| #5 | Elmerii_ | -1.23 | 52 | 64 |





