








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 389 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 267 matches | ||
| Faceit | 217 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5057 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,804 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8451 | 37% |
| Smokes | 6224 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4678 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3451 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,251,310 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 81 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fuzzy | 56% | 71 |
| #2 | Glenski | 54% | 67 |
| #3 | Ehxalt | 50% | 256 |
| #4 | bah | 50% | 98 |
| #5 | BIG STEPPA | 48% | 168 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ehxalt | 15 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | BIG STEPPA | 12 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Glenski | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Fuzzy | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | bah | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ehxalt | 874 | 0.15 | 23 min |
| #2 | Fuzzy | 429 | 0.27 | 10 min |
| #3 | BIG STEPPA | 402 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #4 | Glenski | 345 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| #5 | bah | 287 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fuzzy | +2.36 | 83 | 65 |
| #2 | BIG STEPPA | +1.37 | 88 | 58 |
| #3 | Hoellywood | +0.56 | 81 | 69 |
| #4 | bah | +0.37 | 77 | 53 |
| #5 | Glenski | +0.32 | 77 | 63 |





