








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 443 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 122 matches | ||
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Wingman | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3747 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,722 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4878 | 42% |
| Smokes | 2066 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2389 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2389 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $552,321 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 348 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EXILE | 79% | 19 |
| #2 | BIG STEPPA | 67% | 21 |
| #3 | Hoellywood | 56% | 71 |
| #4 | Glenski | 55% | 73 |
| #5 | bah | 52% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | BIG STEPPA | 67% | 21 |
| #3 | Hoellywood | 56% | 71 |
| #4 | Glenski | 55% | 73 |
| #5 | bah | 52% | 23 |
| #6 | Ehxalt | 49% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glenski | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Hoellywood | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Ehxalt | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | EXILE | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glenski | 316 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #2 | Hoellywood | 296 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #3 | Ehxalt | 291 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #4 | bah | 91 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | EXILE | 41 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fuzzy | +2.71 | 85 | 63 |
| #2 | bah | +1.22 | 74 | 62 |
| #3 | Hoellywood | +0.67 | 82 | 67 |
| #4 | BIG STEPPA | +0.30 | 80 | 60 |
| #5 | EXILE | -0.39 | 76 | 61 |





