








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 420 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 583 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5248 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,572 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6555 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4496 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3918 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4603 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,180,204 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 186 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sam | 55% | 139 |
| #2 | Scorpion King | 52% | 147 |
| #3 | ☠brainlessfantasy☠ | 50% | 412 |
| #4 | IM ACTUALLY TRASH <3 | 47% | 176 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sam | 55% | 139 |
| #2 | Scorpion King | 52% | 147 |
| #3 | ☠brainlessfantasy☠ | 50% | 412 |
| #4 | IM ACTUALLY TRASH <3 | 47% | 176 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sam | 27 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | ☠brainlessfantasy☠ | 16 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | IM ACTUALLY TRASH <3 | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Scorpion King | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IM ACTUALLY TRASH <3 | 359 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | ☠brainlessfantasy☠ | 230 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| #3 | Sam | 225 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | Scorpion King | 180 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sam | +1.52 | 73 | 44 |
| #2 | ☠brainlessfantasy☠ | +1.50 | 59 | 44 |
| #3 | Scorpion King | +0.56 | 67 | 62 |
| #4 | Fred | +0.45 | 75 | 59 |
| #5 | IM ACTUALLY TRASH <3 | -1.82 | 44 | 50 |





