








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1973 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1041 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 511 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




251 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14516 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 45,417 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11181 | 25% |
| Smokes | 14997 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 11774 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 7465 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,193,381 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 640 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Dawnton ★ARC★ | 51% | 144 |
| #10 | DÁVID | 51% | 437 |
| #11 | Galvid | 50% | 232 |
| #12 | ♛ff♛ | Süketszem | 49% | 644 |
| #13 | hL* | 49% | 263 |





