








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 639 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 351 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4187 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,922 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5547 | 37% |
| Smokes | 3346 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2802 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3227 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $923,498 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 313 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lord Jowa | 58% | 126 |
| #2 | Papst | 46% | 28 |
| #3 | Re5ult | 44% | 41 |
| #4 | Ares | 34% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lord Jowa | 58% | 126 |
| #2 | Papst | 46% | 28 |
| #3 | Re5ult | 44% | 41 |
| #4 | Ares | 34% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lord Jowa | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Re5ult | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Ares | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Papst | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lord Jowa | 353 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | Re5ult | 79 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Ares | 20 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #4 | Papst | 20 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ph4ntOm | +1.03 | 67 | 61 |
| #2 | Re5ult | +0.48 | 55 | 41 |
| #3 | Papst | -0.65 | 46 | 35 |
| #4 | Lord Jowa | -1.22 | 39 | 50 |
| #5 | Ares | -3.77 | 29 | 26 |





