








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 86 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




71 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2183 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,977 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 536 | 18% |
| Smokes | 541 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1057 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 843 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $714,307 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 46 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stygia | 72% | 36 |
| #2 | Cryzex | 70% | 27 |
| #3 | John Perc | 65% | 40 |
| #4 | WhoisM҉ | 54% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stygia | 72% | 36 |
| #2 | Cryzex | 70% | 27 |
| #3 | John Perc | 65% | 40 |
| #4 | WhoisM҉ | 54% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WhoisM҉ | 40 | 0.0147 |
| #2 | John Perc | 13 | 0.0158 |
| #3 | Stygia | 10 | 0.0146 |
| #4 | Cryzex | 3 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WhoisM҉ | 109 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #2 | Stygia | 90 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | John Perc | 77 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Cryzex | 18 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zelypticx | +3.65 | 86 | 32 |
| #2 | John Perc | +1.75 | 76 | 54 |
| #3 | Cryzex | +0.68 | 58 | 22 |
| #4 | Stygia | +0.08 | 66 | 52 |
| #5 | WhoisM҉ | -0.67 | 48 | 35 |





