








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
740 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,340 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 623 | 27% |
| Smokes | 695 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 535 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 487 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $407,614 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Capybara | 80% | 15 |
| #2 | YoungAseter | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | walle | 57% | 68 |
| #4 | vilijuspro123 | 52% | 25 |
| #5 | B Eero | 50% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Eezrik | 44% | 9 |
| #8 | Dullerturtle | 44% | 9 |
| #9 | Jyke "Esimies" Reimanen | 44% | 18 |
| #10 | Angry Cat | 40% | 10 |
| #11 | Joonakki | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Capybara | +5.28 | 64 | 29 |
| #2 | Eezrik | +4.13 | 87 | 70 |
| #3 | Dullerturtle | +2.96 | 63 | 69 |
| #4 | YoungAseter | +2.16 | 16 | 42 |
| #5 | Joonakki | +1.65 | 50 | 70 |





