








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 272 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 117 matches | ||
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2822 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,745 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1603 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1435 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1873 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1834 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $638,663 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 250 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RUSH B | 77% | 13 |
| #2 | doltic | 77% | 13 |
| #3 | satsuma | 75% | 12 |
| #4 | Fd God | 64% | 14 |
| #5 | BloodBat | 55% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Fd God | 64% | 14 |
| #5 | BloodBat | 55% | 33 |
| #6 | SamBox. | 50% | 18 |
| #7 | iCan't | 46% | 28 |
| #8 | Blaze | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iCan't | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | RUSH B | 2 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | Fd God | 2 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | satsuma | 2 | 0.0087 |
| #5 | SamBox. | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SamBox. | 88 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #2 | iCan't | 71 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | doltic | 51 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | BloodBat | 43 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Blaze | 43 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | danING | +2.79 | 84 | 56 |
| #2 | RUSH B | +2.10 | 60 | 68 |
| #3 | SamBox. | +1.19 | 81 | 69 |
| #4 | doltic | +0.54 | 67 | 61 |
| #5 | Blaze | +0.44 | 74 | 66 |





