








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 651 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2800 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,638 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 966 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1311 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 832 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1529 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $911,745 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 227 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spiskeparky⛟ | 75% | 40 |
| #2 | 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓱 ☁ | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | Ufo85 | 63% | 38 |
| #4 | Č. Karkulka DakYY.... | 63% | 57 |
| #5 | Astro 𝔢.𝔵.𝔢ツ | 63% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Č. Karkulka DakYY.... | 18 | 0.0165 |
| #2 | Zrzek | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Spiskeparky⛟ | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | soltix | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Ufo85 | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Č. Karkulka DakYY.... | 143 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | Spiskeparky⛟ | 119 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | PolikCZ | 117 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | soltix | 102 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | spooky k | 88 | 0.16 | 2 min |





