








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1018 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,270 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 174 | 8% |
| Smokes | 981 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 117 | 5% |
| Molotovs | 998 | 44% |
Our logs show you have wasted $149,300 of utility $35 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | [F.H.A] † Taayyz † | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | the femboy aqualli | 53% | 77 |
| #4 | Munsy | 39% | 127 |
| #5 | alpha ♥uwu♥ | 38% | 42 |
| #6 | MintzyG | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Munsy | 26 | 0.0121 |
| #2 | alpha ♥uwu♥ | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | [F.H.A] † Taayyz † | 3 | 0.0104 |
| #4 | the femboy aqualli | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | MintzyG | 2 | 0.0073 |





