








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1006 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 399 matches | ||
| Wingman | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 85 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7402 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,379 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4242 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2892 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 4440 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2805 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,613,687 of utility $230 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 793 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | alex | 51% | 127 |
| #6 | 21 leftover carrots | 51% | 53 |
| #7 | Bingsus_ | 50% | 44 |
| #8 | deg | 46% | 41 |
| #9 | AfroNinja750 | 41% | 54 |





