








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 567 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 193 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 83 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5158 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,511 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3495 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2678 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3599 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3739 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,961,390 of utility $233 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1729 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deg | 322 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #2 | Bingsus_ | 163 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | [Recruit_49] | 127 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #4 | curticuss | 88 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | H1dden | 85 | 0.07 | 2 min |





