








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 31 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1337 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,815 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 808 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1200 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1239 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 568 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $211,536 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bärgarn˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | SvartaFaran | 55% | 20 |
| #3 | ✪ YaBoyNiggWard♿ | 53% | 80 |
| #4 | XVW | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | ProPlayerEurop | 51% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bärgarn˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | SvartaFaran | 55% | 20 |
| #3 | ✪ YaBoyNiggWard♿ | 53% | 80 |
| #4 | XVW | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | ProPlayerEurop | 51% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ProPlayerEurop | 11 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | ✪ YaBoyNiggWard♿ | 8 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | XVW | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ProPlayerEurop | 434 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #2 | ✪ YaBoyNiggWard♿ | 305 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #3 | XVW | 55 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | Bärgarn˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ | 41 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #5 | SvartaFaran | 6 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bärgarn˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ | +5.23 | 88 | 53 |
| #2 | ProPlayerEurop | +0.43 | 57 | 51 |
| #3 | ✪ YaBoyNiggWard♿ | +0.04 | 75 | 63 |
| #4 | Moteasto | +0.01 | 68 | 45 |
| #5 | SvartaFaran | -0.06 | 61 | 28 |





