








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 157 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 138 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2110 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,584 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1977 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1605 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2131 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1871 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $616,125 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 393 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ YaBoyNiggWard♿ | 23 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | ProPlayerEurop | 7 | 0.0110 |
| #3 | mr.doom | 6 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | Bärgarn˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ | 5 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | Lund1n | 4 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ YaBoyNiggWard♿ | 534 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #2 | Bärgarn˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ | 217 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #3 | mr.doom | 193 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | ProPlayerEurop | 113 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | Lund1n | 85 | 0.13 | 2 min |





