










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 142 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 126 matches | ||
| Wingman | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1503 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,068 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1596 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2105 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2173 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1194 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $842,294 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 104 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Mortalsrixon | 46% | 166 |
| #3 | Bolbi Stroganowski | 44% | 16 |
| #4 | Antiks | 42% | 19 |
| #5 | Juan Deag | 40% | 42 |
| #6 | V | 31% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mortalsrixon | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Juan Deag | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Bolbi Stroganowski | 2 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | V | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Antiks | 1 | 0.0025 |





