








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 459 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 131 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1489 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,307 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 747 | 17% |
| Smokes | 752 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1513 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1295 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $991,356 of utility $216 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KRG | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | RAΕ½ENS | 63% | 35 |
| #3 | Derwbs | 59% | 152 |
| #4 | xVeins | 56% | 27 |
| #5 | lynx | 55% | 207 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | xVeins | 56% | 27 |
| #5 | lynx | 55% | 207 |
| #6 | ReichaTv | 55% | 11 |
| #7 | zalk | 45% | 38 |
| #8 | Helistroper2nd | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lynx | 16 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Derwbs | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | zalk | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | RAΕ½ENS | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | ReichaTv | 1 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lynx | 925 | 0.21 | 22 min |
| #2 | Derwbs | 142 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | RAΕ½ENS | 89 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | xVeins | 63 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | zalk | 53 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lynx | +4.57 | 89 | 65 |
| #2 | xVeins | +3.27 | 84 | 62 |
| #3 | RAΕ½ENS | +1.30 | 64 | 73 |
| #4 | Helistroper2nd | -0.19 | 44 | 43 |
| #5 | KRG | -1.16 | 72 | 70 |





