








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 356 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1904 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,930 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2732 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2112 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 853 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 2233 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $761,823 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 194 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | delm31 ✈ #Reformed | 50% | 64 |
| #9 | ♡ gøuki ♡ | 46% | 68 |
| #10 | coupe | 45% | 33 |
| #11 | hashtagkat | 44% | 25 |
| #12 | Christian Toaster (F.L.O.A.T) | 33% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♟ Placeholder ♟ | 237 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #2 | mentii | 97 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | delm31 ✈ #Reformed | 80 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | coupe | 54 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Gxshes ❄️❄ | 45 | 0.09 | 1 min |





