








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1206 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




111 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6038 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,765 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1905 | 28% |
| Smokes | 990 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 2019 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1851 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,683,026 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 487 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Chase Bishop | 56% | 117 |
| #11 | Monter Enegy Dink | 55% | 106 |
| #12 | Slim | 54% | 101 |
| #13 | Puppy Monkey Baby | 53% | 77 |
| #14 | kate | 53% | 174 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kate | 82 | 0.0239 |
| #2 | coup | 65 | 0.0123 |
| #3 | Puppy Monkey Baby | 59 | 0.0371 |
| #4 | Placeholder | 36 | 0.0103 |
| #5 | Chase Bishop | 36 | 0.0153 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Placeholder | 796 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| #2 | coup | 422 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #3 | Monter Enegy Dink | 314 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | E-Money | 213 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | kate | 193 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | E-Money | +5.01 | 85 | 24 |
| #2 | bite me | +4.51 | 54 | 26 |
| #3 | coup | +3.47 | 55 | 40 |
| #4 | Gxshes | +2.92 | 69 | 38 |
| #5 | Puppy Monkey Baby | +1.09 | 62 | 35 |





