








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2686 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 215 matches | ||
| Premier | 169 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




98 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5141 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,306 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6443 | 42% |
| Smokes | 2950 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2536 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3377 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,691,138 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6330 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | percs | 47% | 38 |
| #2 | Jesh PK | 46% | 68 |
| #3 | PWJDM | 31% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | percs | 47% | 38 |
| #2 | Jesh PK | 46% | 68 |
| #3 | PWJDM | 31% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesh PK | 9 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | PWJDM | 6 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesh PK | 90 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | PWJDM | 72 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | percs | 65 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesh PK | +3.99 | 57 | 38 |
| #2 | percs | +0.22 | 3 | 28 |
| #3 | PWJDM | +0.20 | 7 | 42 |
| #4 | Cookie Dough | -2.38 | 53 | 51 |





