










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 633 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 127 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1410 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,493 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 745 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1219 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 652 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 877 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,089,968 of utility $221 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 353 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | zzodd | 50% | 28 |
| #4 | Cookie Dough | 47% | 38 |
| #5 | agedwarlock | 44% | 16 |
| #6 | homie sexual | 42% | 48 |
| #7 | Jypsy Hussle | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Triboulet | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | homie sexual | 6 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | zzodd | 6 | 0.0113 |
| #4 | Cookie Dough | 4 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | Jypsy Hussle | 3 | 0.0122 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cookie Dough | 284 | 0.35 | 4 min |
| #2 | Triboulet | 209 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | Jypsy Hussle | 44 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | homie sexual | 17 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | zzodd | 8 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Triboulet | +2.88 | 61 | 36 |
| #2 | zzodd | +1.08 | 18 | 12 |
| #3 | homie sexual | -0.29 | 28 | 41 |
| #4 | percs | -1.37 | 5 | 27 |
| #5 | Jypsy Hussle | -2.99 | 28 | 34 |





