








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 259 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 128 matches | ||
| Faceit | 71 matches | ||
| Wingman | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2411 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,802 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3398 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3161 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2796 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2447 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $588,763 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 382 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 彡★GaliLoS★M&M | 59% | 61 |
| #2 | 『HM』⚡ 乃ε𝖓é? #HSKіng (҂`_´) ..! | 57% | 82 |
| #3 | moop2k | 54% | 28 |
| #4 | KindeR | 52% | 25 |
| #5 | Bob the Nailer | 51% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | 『HM』⚡ 乃ε𝖓é? #HSKіng (҂`_´) ..! | 57% | 82 |
| #3 | moop2k | 54% | 28 |
| #4 | KindeR | 52% | 25 |
| #5 | Bob the Nailer | 51% | 39 |
| #6 | SchultZ | 49% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 『HM』⚡ 乃ε𝖓é? #HSKіng (҂`_´) ..! | 36 | 0.0226 |
| #2 | 彡★GaliLoS★M&M | 15 | 0.0124 |
| #3 | Bob the Nailer | 9 | 0.0120 |
| #4 | KindeR | 2 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | moop2k | 190 | 0.30 | 6 min |
| #2 | 『HM』⚡ 乃ε𝖓é? #HSKіng (҂`_´) ..! | 179 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | 彡★GaliLoS★M&M | 159 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | SchultZ | 153 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #5 | Bob the Nailer | 127 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Delta]Ratata-=[D]z=- | +2.03 | 82 | 70 |
| #2 | KindeR | +0.77 | 50 | 55 |
| #3 | moop2k | +0.67 | 65 | 88 |
| #4 | SchultZ | -0.50 | 46 | 71 |
| #5 | Bob the Nailer | -0.63 | 27 | 54 |





