








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1328 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,614 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1086 | 42% |
| Smokes | 648 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 352 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 528 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $453,198 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | James Bong | 50% | 110 |
| #2 | Lible001 | 48% | 116 |
| #3 | πΏπ€π£ππππ‘π€ | 47% | 178 |
| #4 | εε°ι©¬ε€ | 39% | 31 |
| #5 | Kauss | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | James Bong | 50% | 110 |
| #2 | Lible001 | 48% | 116 |
| #3 | πΏπ€π£ππππ‘π€ | 47% | 178 |
| #4 | εε°ι©¬ε€ | 39% | 31 |
| #5 | Kauss | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | πΏπ€π£ππππ‘π€ | 71 | 0.0200 |
| #2 | Lible001 | 11 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | James Bong | 11 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | εε°ι©¬ε€ | 9 | 0.0142 |
| #5 | Kauss | 7 | 0.0254 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | πΏπ€π£ππππ‘π€ | 570 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #2 | James Bong | 323 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | Lible001 | 79 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | εε°ι©¬ε€ | 65 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Kauss | 59 | 0.21 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | πΏπ€π£ππππ‘π€ | +1.74 | 56 | 69 |
| #2 | James Bong | +1.52 | 84 | 54 |
| #3 | εε°ι©¬ε€ | +1.42 | 62 | 49 |
| #4 | Lible001 | -0.63 | 38 | 36 |
| #5 | Kauss | -2.55 | 35 | 20 |





