








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 100 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1399 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,847 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1669 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1076 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1120 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 982 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $341,570 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oskari^ | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | Ewais | 67% | 18 |
| #3 | TrueGamer | 59% | 34 |
| #4 | k0SAHTI | 56% | 45 |
| #5 | Dovasi | 53% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | TrueGamer | 59% | 34 |
| #4 | k0SAHTI | 56% | 45 |
| #5 | Dovasi | 53% | 17 |
| #6 | san diego XII | 50% | 8 |
| #7 | 𝕂𝕠𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕫 | 49% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕂𝕠𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕫 | 9 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | TrueGamer | 6 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | k0SAHTI | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Dovasi | 1 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Ewais | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕂𝕠𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕫 | 417 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #2 | k0SAHTI | 84 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | TrueGamer | 73 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Ewais | 68 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #5 | Dovasi | 62 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oskari^ | +4.17 | 78 | 71 |
| #2 | k0SAHTI | +3.29 | 83 | 53 |
| #3 | TrueGamer | +1.35 | 68 | 53 |
| #4 | 𝕂𝕠𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕫 | +0.45 | 81 | 70 |
| #5 | san diego XII | +0.31 | 42 | 46 |





