








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 550 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 211 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4394 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,156 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2061 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1513 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2310 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2272 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,080,150 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | EJR | 55% | 31 |
| #7 | Dovasi | 54% | 63 |
| #8 | san diego XII | 54% | 52 |
| #9 | ðð ððððŦ | 52% | 234 |
| #10 | Ewais | 48% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ðð ððððŦ | 18 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | TrueGamer | 16 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | Dovasi | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | san diego XII | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | āļļ | 3 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ðð ððððŦ | 703 | 0.15 | 21 min |
| #2 | Ewais | 461 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #3 | Dovasi | 210 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | TrueGamer | 205 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | āļļ | 165 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oskari^ | +5.36 | 77 | 65 |
| #2 | k0SAHTI | +3.14 | 80 | 54 |
| #3 | EJR | +1.61 | 63 | 71 |
| #4 | TrueGamer | +0.59 | 69 | 52 |
| #5 | ðð ððððŦ | -0.09 | 78 | 69 |





