








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1462 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 943 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 366 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7558 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 51,923 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12659 | 24% |
| Smokes | 8612 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 16662 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 13990 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,092,605 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1666 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Airport Hobo | 56% | 52 |
| #2 | VlugvoetigeFanie | 45% | 69 |
| #3 | [F.C.F] - GODZILLA | 43% | 93 |
| #4 | 8 Ball Bones | 40% | 176 |
| #5 | DUB_Man | 38% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 8 Ball Bones | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Slyrak | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Savage7604 | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | NEMISES | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | [F.C.F] - GODZILLA | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NEMISES | 353 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | 8 Ball Bones | 342 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #3 | RHINO | 197 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | Savage7604 | 158 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | Scrubs | 157 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Airport Hobo | +2.35 | 55 | 61 |
| #2 | NuRoCk | +1.97 | 34 | 71 |
| #3 | 8 Ball Bones | +1.92 | 45 | 61 |
| #4 | RHINO | +1.12 | 36 | 54 |
| #5 | DUB_Man | +0.80 | 13 | 45 |





