








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 183 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Wingman | 39 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2213 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,699 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1359 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1265 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 896 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1179 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $433,243 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 149 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ex | 76% | 21 |
| #2 | Lucky? | 65% | 23 |
| #3 | 1nsolenT KinG | 56% | 18 |
| #4 | SnowZiko | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | tees | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | 1nsolenT KinG | 56% | 18 |
| #4 | SnowZiko | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | tees | 44% | 25 |
| #6 | HELLY™ | 40% | 87 |
| #7 | Anne Franks favourite floorboard | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HELLY™ | 9 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | Ex | 9 | 0.0236 |
| #3 | SnowZiko | 4 | 0.0134 |
| #4 | Lucky? | 3 | 0.0088 |
| #5 | Anne Franks favourite floorboard | 2 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HELLY™ | 203 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | tees | 85 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | Ex | 70 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | SnowZiko | 48 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | 1nsolenT KinG | 26 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ex | +5.63 | 94 | 55 |
| #2 | KanyeWestLover911 | +3.17 | 88 | 53 |
| #3 | tees | +1.01 | 84 | 70 |
| #4 | HELLY™ | +0.32 | 85 | 63 |
| #5 | Lucky? | +0.08 | 84 | 22 |





