








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 353 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 124 matches | ||
| Faceit | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2793 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,010 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6528 | 47% |
| Smokes | 3282 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1067 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 3133 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $723,578 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 106 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaiiiba_ | 57% | 115 |
| #2 | Abu Ahmed | 55% | 20 |
| #3 | A Hatetasmic Parade | 54% | 123 |
| #4 | yunB | 47% | 30 |
| #5 | p3lex2 | 46% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Abu Ahmed | 55% | 20 |
| #3 | A Hatetasmic Parade | 54% | 123 |
| #4 | yunB | 47% | 30 |
| #5 | p3lex2 | 46% | 24 |
| #6 | drx2d | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | A Hatetasmic Parade | 11 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | drx2d | 4 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | Kaiiiba_ | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | Abu Ahmed | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaiiiba_ | 464 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #2 | A Hatetasmic Parade | 430 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #3 | yunB | 118 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | Abu Ahmed | 40 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | p3lex2 | 39 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaiiiba_ | +0.95 | 63 | 60 |
| #2 | yunB | +0.62 | 49 | 65 |
| #3 | drx2d | -0.09 | 74 | 28 |
| #4 | Gandalf | -0.15 | 46 | 58 |
| #5 | Abu Ahmed | -0.32 | 42 | 61 |





