










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
264 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,233 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 445 | 36% |
| Smokes | 158 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 300 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 330 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $196,936 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 73 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HOOAA | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | irma | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | Tatupelaa123 | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | verottaja | 44% | 18 |
| #5 | Kanttila | 42% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | verottaja | 44% | 18 |
| #5 | Kanttila | 42% | 33 |
| #6 | .wmh jumpstick | 40% | 5 |
| #7 | SOMALIPOMMI3000 | 33% | 6 |
| #8 | joo | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kanttila | 4 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | verottaja | 4 | 0.0115 |
| #3 | irma | 1 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kanttila | 52 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #2 | verottaja | 52 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | SOMALIPOMMI3000 | 21 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | Tatupelaa123 | 19 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | irma | 9 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HOOAA | +6.08 | 88 | 46 |
| #2 | irma | +1.23 | 42 | 53 |
| #3 | Tatupelaa123 | +1.08 | 42 | 70 |
| #4 | .wmh jumpstick | +0.51 | 79 | 45 |
| #5 | Kanttila | +0.29 | 45 | 42 |





