








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 152 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 15 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
467 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,316 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 325 | 25% |
| Smokes | 282 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 335 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 374 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $152,631 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lega | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | Xandii | 67% | 18 |
| #3 | Mohammed Bin al Sudin | 67% | 21 |
| #4 | papyrus | 63% | 8 |
| #5 | samy_S | 61% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | samy_S | 61% | 31 |
| #6 | manta ray | 58% | 12 |
| #7 | Moraxx | 55% | 11 |
| #8 | itsBenni | 54% | 13 |
| #9 | keqing | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xandii | 2 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | samy_S | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Mohammed Bin al Sudin | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | itsBenni | 1 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | papyrus | 1 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | samy_S | 140 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #2 | Mohammed Bin al Sudin | 39 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | itsBenni | 32 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | Lega | 23 | 0.38 | 1 min |
| #5 | Xandii | 21 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Benni | +3.91 | 81 | 60 |
| #2 | itsBenni | +2.07 | 83 | 67 |
| #3 | papyrus | +2.06 | 78 | 46 |
| #4 | Xandii | +0.78 | 60 | 69 |
| #5 | Moraxx | +0.43 | 37 | 64 |





