








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 664 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 182 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2231 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,946 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2823 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1810 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2964 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1349 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $281,773 of utility $42 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1357 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Heady | 70% | 47 |
| #2 | ✪denckeRGOD | 70% | 40 |
| #3 | Nathan | 57% | 121 |
| #4 | swa | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | ultra | 52% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nathan | 287 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | Igowallah | 118 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | Heady | 115 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | ✪denckeRGOD | 107 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | ✌TJ | 102 | 0.15 | 1 min |





