








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 280 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2542 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,939 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1801 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1813 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1539 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1786 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $747,741 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 550 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chrispbacon | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | Rosie | 73% | 45 |
| #3 | K0Mski | 70% | 79 |
| #4 | czy♡ | 64% | 25 |
| #5 | Snazzy | 64% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2023 | 7 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Rosie | 5 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | K0Mski | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | 🌸 | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | fANshu- | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chrispbacon | +4.13 | 69 | 40 |
| #2 | Rosie | +3.48 | 86 | 67 |
| #3 | K0Mski | +2.45 | 79 | 39 |
| #4 | 2023 | +2.21 | 87 | 66 |
| #5 | Born Wid IT | +1.76 | 81 | 62 |





