








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 555 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 154 matches | ||
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3876 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,166 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2360 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1898 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 2984 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3924 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $774,009 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 779 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ᵍᵒᵈnnaiim ♠ | 49% | 127 |
| #6 | Be1rva | 48% | 61 |
| #7 | Superslav | 47% | 209 |
| #8 | LadyJoee | 45% | 112 |
| #9 | ¡¡ oƆu[∀]ɹԀ 🅉 ❤⃝ | 42% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rawnee | 14 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | ᵍᵒᵈnnaiim ♠ | 11 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | HellBoy | 11 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | LadyJoee | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Superslav | 6 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᵍᵒᵈnnaiim ♠ | 403 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #2 | HellBoy | 133 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Superslav | 130 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | Rawnee | 119 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #5 | phoebexm | 92 | 0.10 | 3 min |





