








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 116 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1054 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,334 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 942 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1222 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 935 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1235 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $612,774 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tagoma | 54% | 97 |
| #2 | Pat | 50% | 10 |
| #3 | ᴹᴬᴰ|ɴᴇss | 50% | 108 |
| #4 | ✪ Jockel | 48% | 62 |
| #5 | B0rn2Kill | 46% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tagoma | 54% | 97 |
| #2 | Pat | 50% | 10 |
| #3 | ᴹᴬᴰ|ɴᴇss | 50% | 108 |
| #4 | ✪ Jockel | 48% | 62 |
| #5 | B0rn2Kill | 46% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tagoma | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | ✪ Jockel | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | ᴹᴬᴰ|ɴᴇss | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | B0rn2Kill | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᴹᴬᴰ|ɴᴇss | 520 | 0.23 | 14 min |
| #2 | Tagoma | 185 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | ✪ Jockel | 143 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | B0rn2Kill | 92 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Pat | 10 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tagoma | +3.66 | 91 | 63 |
| #2 | B0rn2Kill | +1.81 | 75 | 66 |
| #3 | ᴹᴬᴰ|ɴᴇss | +1.56 | 86 | 74 |
| #4 | ✪ Jockel | +0.26 | 50 | 61 |
| #5 | Dj Khaled ツ | -2.58 | 56 | 53 |





